• A man shared on Reddit that he’s picked up a hobby of flying toy planes now that his kids are older and he has more free time
• However, his wife “isn’t keen” about his hobby, which has led the man to feel that she’s “become a bit controlling”
• So he decided to “make a point” and bought a toy plane behind her back, using money he saved up from some side work

A man said he finally has time in his life to pursue a favorite hobby, but his wife is not happy about it — so he decided to “make a point.”

The man shared his story on Reddit‘s “Am I the A——” forum, beginning by providing some context to his family dynamics. He said he and his wife have been married for 24 years and are nearly empty nesters, as one child is about to head to college and the other is living “on her own” with her boyfriend.

After many years of fatherhood, the man explained, “all I’ve ever really known is being a dad. It has been my hobby, my duty and my passion, all rolled into one.”

So now that he is entering a new phase in his life, he is ready to carve out some time for himself.

“Since [my kids] don’t need me in the same ways these days, I picked up a hobby flying RC planes,” he said, explaining that he managed to tuck away some extra money over the past year by doing some consulting work on the side, with the goal of buying his own toy plane.

However, the man says his wife “isn’t keen” about this hobby, and whenever he brings it up in conversation, she “is immediately angry.”

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“My wife seems to hate the idea of me doing anything outside of her presence. It’s become a bit controlling,” he noted.

When he told his wife about his plan to buy a plane soon, it sparked “a fight.” Frustrated, the man decided to go ahead and order it behind her back.

“It will be here this week. My thought is … I made money we don’t ‘need,’ tucked it out of a normal bank and bought a plane. I kind of feel like [an a——], but it also feels like I’m being controlled,” he argued.

Now, he is asking fellow Redditors if he was wrong to go against his wife’s wishes and buy the plane.

In the comments, most people agreed that the man should be allowed to have a harmless hobby. “You may be married, but you still have the right to be you and enjoy a hobby if you so choose,” one Redditor wrote.

However, a number of readers took issue with the man’s choice to buy the plane behind his wife’s back.

“[You would not be the a——] if it weren’t for the fact that you were trying to assert your autonomy on the subject in a secretive way,” one person argued. “If you’re trying to draw a boundary in the relationship, and if you are hoping to set an expectation, squirreling away money to buy this thing that you know will create an issue that needs to be resolved is kind of a [bad] way to go about it.”

A few others wondered if the man’s wife is reacting negatively to his hobby for reasons he may not have considered.

“I wonder if your wife is feeling the same about the kids being grown up, but she has no hobby of her own the way you do. Maybe rather than control, it’s about resentment that you seem to be transitioning easier than she is. Maybe she’s scared that the kids don’t need her as much anymore and now you don’t need her as much anymore,” one person suggested.

Another agreed, writing, “My guess is she thought empty nesting would mean you two would have the opportunity to spend more time together without the kids. If that was her assumption, your choice might appear to be a ‘trick’ to ‘get out of’ having to spend time with your partner.”

Their advice? “Just talk about it with her,” the commenter added.