• A woman shared on the community forum Mumsnet.com that her partner’s teenage daughter “has a say on everything” in his life, making her feel like “the third wheel”
• She said her partner and his daughter are looking to buy a bigger house to live in together and she is questioning where she fits into the picture
• “I want a proper relationship, one where I am the ‘partner’ and treated as such — is this wrong?” the woman asked

A woman says she feels like “the third wheel” in her relationship because her partner allows his teenage daughter to “control” his life.

The woman shared her story in a lengthy post on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet.com, beginning by expressing that the situation has left her at her “wit’s end.” She then explained that she has been with her partner for three years and they each have their own homes. However, due to “a change in circumstances,” the OP (original poster) said she is “struggling to maintain” her house and believes she and her partner should be thinking about moving in together.

But according to the OP, there is a major roadblock to this plan: her partner’s 18-year-old daughter. The teen currently lives with her mom but spends most weekends with her dad, who recently “came into some money” and is looking to buy a bigger house so that his daughter can move in with him.

And from the sounds of it, the 18-year-old has some strong opinions about the house search.

“She gets a say in what house they buy and is finding properties she likes and going on viewings with him and if he likes somewhere and she doesn’t then that is it!” the OP wrote. “She has just said that she thinks he should up his budget by £50K [about $66,000] so that she gets what she wants.”

The OP said the teen also influences her dad in countless other aspects of his life. “She has a say on everything — what car he has, what clothes he buys/wears, where they go on holiday, where and what they eat, what he spends his money on and what they do at weekends,” she wrote.

“He pays for everything for her (even though she has a part-time job) including her hair, her clothes, her makeup, her toiletries, her tattoos, the fuel for her car, her car itself, the car insurance, the modifications that she wanted for her car, the new ipad that she had to have, expensive weekends away, expensive holidays, festival tickets — the list goes on,” she added.

Making matters even worse, the 18-year-old inserts herself in her dad’s relationship with the OP.

“Sometimes she barely acknowledges me, and if me and my partner go out without her, she asks him how much he spent — and he tells her!” the Redditor shared. “It is like she feels that he should spend all his money on her and nothing on me.”

When the three are out together, the OP’s partner and his daughter will sometimes “walk arm-in-arm” while the OP is forced to tag behind them. “On holiday, he will sit with her and I sit on my own,” the OP complained.

Now that the father and daughter are making plans to buy a house to live in together, the OP is left to wonder where she fits into the picture.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

“When they get ‘their’ house, they will live together in harmony, cooking together, doing everything together. My question is, where does that leave me??” she wrote. “I feel like the third wheel and not a part of it and I want a proper relationship, one where I am the ‘partner’ and treated as such — is this wrong?”

She added: “I am not getting any younger and don’t want to waste any more time on a relationship that isn’t going anywhere. He can’t see it and says that she will get whatever she wants and that is the way it is and she will come first.”

In the comments of the post, many readers urged the OP to “move on” as the dynamic between her partner and his daughter is unlikely to change and will only continue to make her more unhappy.

“Walk away,” one person advised. “His life is too closely enmeshed with his daughter’s life, and there is no room for you.”

Another agreed, writing, “Being treated like a third wheel would be a dealbreaker for me. How have you put up with this for 3 years?”

Still, other commenters shared the opinion that the OP’s partner’s close relationship with his daughter is admirable and that the real issue is that the OP seems to want a partner whose sole focus would be on her.

“I imagine quite a lot of women would want a father to have this close of a relationship with his daughter. She is his priority and that won’t change,” a reader wrote. “But that means there’s no space for you to be a partner in his life. That’s not going to change either. It’s time to leave and find someone who wants the same kind of relationship that you do.”

Someone else chimed in: “She has been around a lot longer than you, and will be after you. If you don’t want a man with baggage, don’t date one. This isn’t a daughter problem, it’s incompatibility.”